Well I screwed up hugely again, not that it’ll stop me! Oh, and I found out a great way to keep my tea warm!

Well boohoo.

Turns out my flash fiction Friday post appeared under an older post- how embarrassing! If you peek down you can still see it, about a couple of millennial whipper-snappers and a fly waiter, so enjoy if you wish to peek down.

I found the cause of the matter. Apparently wordpress thinks they’re super smart using a timezone an hour after EST even after I looked it up to double check. Fooie!

Lesson learned, don’t try your luck with scheduled releases unless you know exactly what you’re doing. I’ve had this site for well over a year and I still hadn’t figured that out until just today!

*imagine funny image of an eagle screeching with the text “HAWKWARD” in Impact Bold Font right here*

Oh well, onwards and upwards! The next Flash Fiction Friday at Five ( Or FFF@F for short c: ) will be released at 5 PM EST for REAL THIS TIME GUYS, REALLY!

About that tea…

I decided to go the route of the insane genius, brewing my standard English breakfast (even though its the evening when I’m writing this; such a rebel) and added a spot of milk just as usual…

Just a typical tea-drinking day…

But then, an enlightened realization! If it’s in the coffee pot, why not keep it warm using the coffee burner?!?!?!?!?1

So I did, and it’s still warm!

#sosmart

Anyway I promise I’ll do better next time. Sorry for letting ya’ down.

: :’ <—Me with anime sweat drop because I’m so unironically random.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, and look forward to finding out how you can get Valiance’s prequel, Defiance, for 100% free!

Much love,

Kell

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Hey, is this brick wall becoming bigger, or is it just me? Oh wait, i-*SMASH AND DEAD*

Nice attempt at clickbait, Kell. Pretty sure it didn’t work.

First matter of affairs, that military sci-fi novel’s rough draft is done, and here’s the cover:

Valiance_Kindle

Yeah, seriously. It looks awesome!

Like, I’ve seriously never loved one of my covers this much. Good job, until-further-notice secret guy who did my cover!

As much as a challenge as it was, the novel was pleasing and quick to write, like I mentioned in my previous post, and I’m currently working through the editing process. I can’t loose momentum! This could be the one! Expect to see it on amazon.com shelves early May. Remember that you can go ahead and read the novel for free using the radish fiction app. Exciting!

Anyway I’ve got a lot going on at the Ascended Scribery, scribbling up one thing or another, but I know you guys need some contact, so here it is. It’s been a long time since my last progress report, so this should be a significant change from last time.


What I’m working on right now:

-Valiance Prequel: I need a reader magnet to the series, and I figured this would be a fantastic way to do it. It shall be a short story explaining the origins of one of the characters, and should be pretty sweet. Expect to see it release alongside Valiance for about $0.99 cents.

And have the cover for this one too:

Defiance - High Resolution

B-beautiful…

-I’m going to be getting back into flash fiction, starting… today! Check out my Flash Fiction Friday @ Five (PM EST) starting today at 5 PM EST. It will be very short, punchy, sometimes even offensive, but you’re a cool enough kid to handle naughty words and things that might make tumblr mad, right?

Yeah, honestly that’s kind of it. I’m also developing the plot outline for Valiance‘s sequel already so I can piggy back and get on it quickly. Hope to see you later at 5PM ❤

All the best,

Kell

(P.S.: Again, Walking the Scar is still going to be finished. Seriously… I just need to get this stuff off my plate first : :’ )

Flash Fiction Friday @ Five PM – 5/18/17 – Kafka Cafe

(For the first post of these I feel it’s fair for a disclaimer. Any views or opinions expressed about anyone or anything do not reflect those of the author’s. The author also takes full artistic liberty to do whatever the hell it wants to. Take your complaining garbage elsewhere, gnave. Now let’s get down to business.)

Kafka Cafe

“Yeah!” Jane says, “I love Blue Dog Monday! I went to their summer concert last year!” She adds with a cheesy smile and a decisive point, as if she just now recalled the band.

She’s not the one, he already knows, as all insufferable hipsters do.

William’s puts on smile stretches to ensure it’s convincing. Jane failed the “fake band” test like so many others. He runs it through with every girl he dates. Give her the name of a fake band, see if she’s a giant fan of it and owns all the albums, and then go from there.

He scratches his shoulder as a waiter swings past their table with the sort of over-doctored coffee and flippantly-cute pastries common to an outdoor mall café. “Wow, I’m shocked!” He says with an awkward shrug, at once showing his surprise and personally shrugging off the thought of a second date.

“Yeah, they’re great… It’s just been such a long time I listened to them, ya’ know? There’s a lot out.” She says this all while taking up the slender coffee spoon and stirring through her decaf salted caramel white chocolate mocha frappe with coconut milk and just a dash of cinnamon.

William assumes this is her way of backing up in case he presses further. He’ll spare her the embarrassment of being caught, and decides to simply go along with it. Last time he called a girl out for it he received a swift slap to the face, as it turned out the fake band name he chose was actually of a real band that he hadn’t heard of.

“Yeah, well you know how it is,” William says with another, neither of them actually knowing how it is. He finishes off his black Honduras— good stuff.

A few minutes of generic date conversation passes. It’s just like she said on her profile, she does yoga. Wow. Likes surfing. Holy shit amazing. And even had the gall to say she was working as something other than an unpaid intern. He finds out a few other facts that are also probably not facts at all, and nods his way through the whole conversation. It won’t be hard to let her go, considering he didn’t grab on to begin with.

And then it happens.

A fly zips around the table and she groans amidst a reflexive swat. The fly didn’t dodge, but instead is just flipped aside. Jane cringes realizing she actually made contact with the fly, an ironic reaction all things considered, and then the fly buzzes angrily.

“What the hell?!” The fly vibrates in fury.

Jane draws back in horror. “It talks! Kill it! Kill it!”

“I fucking work here! I came to get your goddamn dishes you little shits! I literally had this job for one fucking day and already people are going nuts!” He points a really tiny fly leg to the door with a sign on it. “Can’t you read?! This is a super equal opportunity establishment! Any sentient creature can get a job here.”

“I-I’m,” Jane skews her breath. “I’m so sorr-”

Jane’s voice is overpowered by the landing of William’s large mug, crushing the fly beyond recognition.

“W-what did you do?!

William draws back, steaming and short of breath. “I killed it.”

“It… It worked here!

“Yeah, so what? It freaked me out!”

“You can’t… Shit!” Jane presses a hand into her face in dread. “Why the hell would the manager think this was a good idea?! The waiter that gave us the food wasn’t a fly!”

“Yeah,” William said, gaze searching for onlookers, “Just a normal person, like they should be, dammit! Why di-”

“Is something the matter?” The original waiter, an enormous, human-sized cockroach says as he bends around the corner.

William’s eyes grow large as he looks at the massive roach. He had thought it was just some old Asian man or something, but no.

“This entire place is operated by bugs!” He shrieks before fainting. He went to jail for aggravated assault, murder, and super racism– good riddance, band guy. Like, ugh!


Come back next Friday at 5 for some more. Let’s see how long I can keep this up.

My birthday!… And also I failed.

isSo first, some tunes-

Happy Birthday, me. It’s a good day to celebrate the things that are… Kell Inkstony! I might not even write today, not that I really need a day-long vacation from that, but I’ve just been on the grindstone with it for so long recently! Maybe I’ll cook up two packages of ramen for myself instead of one. Also hey, this is the one month anniversary of The Black Eye’s release. I can hardly believe that I’m almost a book away from it and it’s only been a month of time!

So, about that failure:

As you may know I set out to write an entire novel in the month of April with a target of 60,000 words, and I’ve been keeping track closely with the amount of words I get done each day versus the amount remaining. It was around day 18 that I figured out I probably wouldn’t hit the deadline. 2,000-3,000 word days are supremely motivated for me, and aren’t always something I can pull off with my job at the ethereal scribery and all those other part times I’ve been doing.

That said, I accomplished 46,160/60,000 words. I guess if you want to look at it glass half full, that’s an already heavily-edited and proofread draft in one month, just 4,000 less than a nanowrimo winner. That’s a good way to box it up, right?

I suppose I can’t be too hard on myself. This will still be the fastest novel I’ve written, and probably one of the very best too. It’s weird that this will be the eighth novel-length project I’ll have completed, and I really just feel like I’m now coming into the swing of understanding the importance of plotting. I was a “seat-of-your-pants” creature for the first six novels, and steadily became more and more structured as time went on. Now I couldn’t very well imagine writing a book without an outline of some sort- they just work well for me, so HA!

I’ve got to cut the short. The scribery’s summoned me.

Have a wonderful day and look forward to the cover of Valiance: Voidstar Empire soon,

Kell