V: Utter, Absolute Horror
Order cancels her cloaking spell once they’re inside. It’s not like she’ll have to deal with the line anymore.
“Chief, that was murder!” Justice exclaims with a cross tone.
“Minions don’t deserve anything else.”
“Wh-” his face pales. “That was a minion?!”
She doesn’t say anything in response to that, because there is no possible outcome she could produce in which it would not turn into a snide insult. The blood was very obviously not blood, but infusia. The minion is in fact not dead, but wonderfully asleep; like a free trial of death, and something Order wishes she could have more of.
“Come on, let’s find the…” she looks around the house’s foyer, a slim lie to her own place— just slightly, barely different. In fact, the lighting and colorations are so thoughtfully accurate she would have easily mistaken it for her own house if she didn’t know better.
“Whoa, this is spooky,” Justice says, looking around. “Where’s Parvo?”
“This isn’t my house, Justice.”
There’s a pause, and he squints in troubled thought. “…Wait, it’s not?”
“…Why would there be a line of people leading up to my house, let in by minions?”
“… I just thought they all wanted your help. I know it’s a lot of work being The Lord Knight General and a-”
“Are you fu-” She skews her words with a sharp breath. “Okay, let’s just… split up and-”
“No way, Chief! Don’t you know splitting up in a weird house is a bad idea?”
She squints miserably. “Uh, no. It’s efficient because we can find the seal faster.”
“B-” he looks aside nervously. “What if there’s something scary in h-”
“You have got to be joking.”
“No like, isn’t it weird? All this build up to find a normal room? There’s got to be something wr-” Justice stops himself as a slight creak groans from upstairs. “…what was that?”
Order sighs, finally giving in. “Let’s go find out,” she says with her sarcasm knob turned up so high that it’s practically indistinguishable from her regular speech.
Justice brightens up with a determined demeanor. “A-alright, Chief! Wow, you’re brave!”
The two start up the stairs, and the lighting begins to darken with every step. For a haunt made by a bunch of stupid minions, she has to admit that the dread build up is pretty effective; she almost feels like she’s in actual danger.
“Wh- the lights? What’s going on?” Justice whimpers, readying his hand to cast a single spell that could level the entire house. He’s one of those people one might meet in their professional life whose talents and skill set do not in any way match their personality. In fact, Justice is probably among the most powerful magicians in The Knights— if he could only get his head out of his ass for a single second. Order’s not big for recommendations of bravado, but she thinks he is one of the few exceptions of a man that actually needs more of an ego.
The two reach the top of the steps into the second-floor hallway. The lighting turns a faint red, and the silence is deafening as the two look around: Justice with a worried, alert gaze and Order like she just walked out of the dive bar at three A.M..
“Pretty sure it came from that room over there,” he says, nodding forward to what would be her bedroom.
Order knows she has to do, but she doesn’t want to go in there. In fact, she’s steadily losing the willpower to do anything at all today, because she’s starting to realize that this isn’t an attempt for her life— rather she’s seeing that its just another one of The Overlord’s stupid bullshit pranks. If the public knew how many times the infamous Slayer of Billions had acted upon his inner insanity and done nothing more than pose as a thorn in her side, his public image would be far less fearsome. Why, for every time Chaos and Order crossed their epic weaponry, there had to be at least ten instances of petty, stupid schemes— like opening boxes of moths in her house to eat her clothes, or having one of his minions sign her address up for every single newsletter subscription in The Omniverse. She winces in disgust, remembering the one time she had Meeo over and she accidentally saw an issue of Strapping Gentlemen Magazine sticking out of her over-stuffed mailbox.
She sighs, nods, and leads the way forward into the suspicious room.
It’s another faithful reproduction— but this time her bedroom is covered in embarrassing sets of underwear; how tasteful of Chaos to do this.
“W-whoa, that’s very inappropriate!” Justice exclaims like a social service announcer.
“Are those yours?” Justice asks with a worried glare, quickly assuming that Chaos’ Minions have been invading her drawers for some reason.
“No,” she says bluntly.
“Well,” he looks again, entering the room and taking a knee as he inspects them closer. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. The animal patterns are really cute; that’s totally not your style– and I think the cup size is too big for y-.”
“Please stop,” she says with a quick, bland tone, rubbing her face tiredly.
He looks back with an innocent, focused curiosity. “Stop what, Chief?”
She smiles to herself. “Nevermind.”
“What is it?”
“Nothing,” she insists. It’s not nothing, of course.
“Well,” he gets up to his feet, “these are definitely not yours. I’m pretty sure you’re right and this isn’t your house.”
Her smile grows. “Oh, excellent. Now we know for sure.”
“Yeah, that’s a relief, because if it was your house that means they’d have gotten past your barriers.”
“Yeah, that would be a serious problem.”
He nods. “No sign of what made that noise, though.”
Suddenly, the nearest closet door explodes to reveal Super Maniac Minion with a plastic-mold cleaver, dressed up crudely as a royal knight.
“I’M A ROYAL KNIGHT!”
“Chief look ou-” before Justice can finish his warning, Order kicks Super Maniac Minion into the wall so hard, that it makes a deep impression within its surface as his infusia is splattered across it like a fly.
“Whoa!” Justice exclaims.
“Asshole bitch,” Order whispers under her breath.
“What was that, Chief?”
“Nothing. The seal’s not here, so let’s go.”
No sooner does she turn to exit the room then the door across the hall creak open, leading to the upstairs bathroom.
“Whoa, it must be another minion!” Justice explains.
Order just smiles and nods as they cross the hallway and go to the bathroom.
The lighting is warm and safe-feeling in the bathroom, with a thick steam surrounding them in a pleasant jasmine aroma. The magic shower is on, pouring down a warm rain behind the tub’s curtain.
Justice’s expression becomes fierce. “I think someone’s taking a shower, but why?”
Order clenches her teeth in frustration at his almost monumental stupidity. “I don’t think it matters, dude. It’s just another scare. They want us to pull up the curtain and then it’ll be something creepy.”
He draws back with a hurt look. “Wait, but that would be an indecent action. What if it’s a person? That would be super inappropriate!”
“We are inside a- haunted- house,” she says, giving extreme, pausing emphases to hopefully make it more clear for Justice.
His expression doesn’t change. “Does that make it okay to violate the privacy of another person?”
She smiles and nods at him, her brows raised with unlimited sass. “Oh, you’re right. Well let’s just skip this one.”
“I think that would be the right thing to do. Most people would feel uncomfortable if we were to look at them while they were nake-”
The lights click out. This of course would be scary to most people, but for the two of them it’s absolutely nothing.
“Huh, the lights,” Justice notes with the tone of a far-off observer, as if none of this were really threatening now that he knows for sure that this isn’t really Order’s house.
Order’s smile has gained the sort of grandmotherly sweetness one does when she looks at playing schoolchildren, so full of hope and naivete. “Yup.”
The shower stops, leaving the only sound as a steady, eerie drip of water. Then, like an anticipating horror, the curtain starts to shift; Order steps toward the shower.
Audio Distraction Minion gives a disturbing smile from within the depths— but it turns to a face of pure terror when he sees Order waiting on the other side. With another single, swift kick, she smashes him across the wall to match his cohorts, like a fresh coat of paint.
“Ch-chief! Cover your eyes!”
“It’s gone now. Just another minion trying to scare us.”
“Oh! It’s another minion?”
“Yes, it was, look,” she nods over to the wall, covered in the obvious, plain-as-day, glowing gore of the quite disassembled Audio Distraction Minion.
“…Oh, I thought it was like, the lighting or something. We’re learning more and more about this mystery!”
She laughs. “Did you even listen to what the people outside were talking about?”
“Huh? Well of course! It’s a knight’s duty to remain abreast of current situations!”
“And what were they talking about?”
“Some nonsense about a haunted house for fun. No doubt some sinful indulgence by the clueless masses. Who would want to get scared for entertainment?”
Order smiles sweetly once more, soaking with sarcasm. “Ahh, yeah that sounds pretty messed up.”
He nods. “Some people just don’t know what’s really happening in their souls, I guess. They just live their lives clueless from one day to the next. They need things like those diversions to fill the emptiness in their hearts, I bet.”
Order just nods, leading out back into the hall, and then to the guest room. “Yeah, some people are pretty clueless, some shockingly so.” There’s Surprise Party Planner Minion wrapped up like a mummy, moaning for brains— and Order slams her into mush too.
“Yeah,” Justice says with a wince, “kind of like alcohol, you know?”
She grins, recalling that he still hasn’t realized even after all these thousands of years. “Everyone needs something.”
They swing back into the hall where they meet Cosplay Minion dressed up like some stupid anime character. He also gets the foot, and he also explodes from the resulting force.
“Maybe so,” Justice muses, “but I think the strength of will and positive attitude can overcome any obstacle!”
Again, she nods. It must be nice to have a simple life like Knight Justice, she thinks.
The two go through room after room, scare after scare, minion after minion, from the second floor back to the first, and then all the way through that. Order smacks Raid Minion, dressed up as a pretty princess, square across the chest in her kitchen, his sweet red face-paint and tutu drowned in the flood of white blood that covers him and the wall behind him. She destroys Circular Shape Enthusiast Minion who, dressed up as a giant red ball, left his scare point and instead went about collecting as many spherical objects as he could find. She even ran into Geometric Shape Enthusiast Minion, and she decided to send him on his way, because he asked her very politely if she had seen some stupid hexagon he lost somewhere in the house. He was dressed up as a honeycomb for some reason.
The duo go all the way across the home until finally, after fifteen minutes of searching, there’s a scream from below— sounding playful more than anything, but a scream none-the-less.
“The basement!” Justice exclaims with a concerned whisper.
Order just rolls her eyes and steps around to the basement stairs. This must be the finale.
The two go down the steps with a confident pace, mostly due to Order not slowing down for anything now, and just slamming minions wherever she can find them.
Into the dark of the basement-turned-laboratory, none other than Knight Love is strapped to an operation table— a sinister machine looming over her head. Its producing a slow, warm drip of pumpkin-spice latte; truly this a machine of torture devised in the very darkest minds of the lowest hell.
“M-” Order spits in surprise. “Meeo?!”
Coffee Drinker Minion, dressed in a mad scientist getup, jumps over to a lever. “Aha! You’ll be next!”
But she’s not next of course, because she vaporizes Coffee Drinker Minion’s skull with a single, instant hit— splattering his desiccated infusia out across the basement— only to regenerate over a matter of hours, possibly days, with that amount of damage— she doesn’t much care.
“A-oh my, hiya there, Ran,” Love says with a nervous smile. “You weren’t supposed to hurt them, you know. You did sign the safety waiver, didn’t y-”
“What are you doing here?!” Order demands, tearing off the binds that are in fact just for show.
“Oh, well I was invited to be a victim in the haunted house— and I thought it would be fun.”
“With Chaos and his minions?”
Love sits up from the table, her operational garment soaked with fragrant, wonderful coffee. “Well you can’t very well say no to Request Minion, can you?”
Justice draws back in shock. “You were working with the forces of evil?!”
Order and Love exchange a quick glance. “N-no, sorry. I was kidnapped and then forced to sign a waiver to have coffee,” Love says with raised brows and a motherly smile; she knows he’s too one-track to get it.
“B-but why would they feed you coffee?”
Her smile gains a pitying twinge. “Because they think that’s scary.”
There’s a pause as Justice looks down to the ground to search his soul. “Yeah… I guess they would find coffee pretty scary.”
Order sighs. “Okay, great, but…” She takes a slight pause for another slow, calming breath. “Do you know where the dimensional seal is?”
Love moves the dangling drip feed of the coffee to her mouth for a quick sip before replying. “Mmm! Mhmm. Its over here, behind the cabinet.”
Justice hums at the large piece of furniture. “Huh, looks pretty heav-”
“Ch’Ak,” Order casts, easily bypassing ninety-five percent of the incantation thanks to her myriad years of practice.
The cabinet explodes, and everything around the cabinet explodes, which includes the dimensional seal.
Instantly, the reality of the house begins to falter, the painting and shapes collapsing into a camera obscura of silhouettes and colors.
“Let’s go,” Order leads.
“Lead the way,” Love says with a calm, if concerned smile.
Third in line, Justice averts his gaze from Love’s backside as he ascends the steps behind her.
The three make their way to the door at a prompt pace, the colors running from everything around them like a wet painting. Justice does the gentlemanly thing in their short amount of time, however, and pulls a coat from the rack and offers it to Love for the sake of proper decency.
“Oh, why thank you, but to be honest the breeze is kind of n-” Love stops herself, seeing Justice’s completely void expression. She takes the coat and puts I on. “Why, how considerate!”
Justice grins with radiant positivity. “My pleasure!” The two turn to Order, who is just watching the two exchanging pleasantries in a folding dimension.
“Are you two for real?”
“Public decency is important! Knight Love’s honor would be insulted if she were to be seen like that!”
Order and Love pass a knowing, almost embarrassed glance.
Order sighs with a smirk. “Right, well we don’t have time for this. Let’s get out of he-”
“Not so far, nerd birds!” A peppy, energetic voice shouts.
The three swing to look at the door, to find none other than Scout Minion, dressed up as a kunoichi with her hands in the shape of one of those nerdy double-sigils that only a few of the most dejected of magicians are prone to using.
“Wait, what are you supposed to be?” Love asks with a tilt of the head.
“Wh- a ninja! And now you’ve come to die!”
“Ninjas aren’t really scary,” Order says with crossed arms. “Get out of the way.”
Scout Minion enters a combat stance while moving her hands about in more sigilic movements. “Nin nin!”
“What’s it saying, chief?” Justice asks.
“It’s just some stupid bullshit that ninjas say.”
“Nin!” Scout replies with a sharp enthusiasm.
“Well, I did warn you,” Order says with a sly smirk.
“Tosushi no-jutsu!” Scout yells, disappearing into a puff of smoke and reappearing as a dozen Scout Minion copies, surrounding the three with their little tanto knives drawn out.
“This is so fucking dumb,” Order mutters.
“What’s that, chief?”
“It’s annoying,” she corrects, just as Scout Minion’s copies leap forward, but leaving enough room for the three to slowly get away.
Order just crosses her arms and waits. The ninjas do a bunch of crazy-threatening tricks, like backflips, knife catches and false starts, but ultimately they stay at bay.
“W-well? Run!” Scout Minion says indignantly with loose, almost puppet-like movements.
Order just shakes her head gently as Love does her best to mock concern for the fun of it.
“Oh no! Ran, we’re surrounded! We need to go this way into the ki-”
“Aww, but it’s fun.”
Justice is on pins and needles from the sight of all the minions, but he still has enough clarity to respond to Love. “There’s nothing fun about the minions of the High Overlord, Knight Love! We need to think about how we’re going to get past them, quick, or we’re going to be sliced and diced unt-”
Order’s seconds-long “giving a damn” timer clicks to zero again, and just propels her foot into Scout’s real body, concealed inside the wall to the side. At once, all the “copies”, the puppets, fall flat.
“Wow, chief! How did you know?”
“The wall was snickering,” she says plainly. “Now let’s go.”
With the reality steadily collapsing about them, the group exits the house to see the minions leading everyone away in an emergency evacuation. It’s perfectly safe to get folded over in an intersecting dimension like this, but the thought of waiting around to see what it feels like isn’t an appealing idea to all the poor humans that thought they were going to have a good time. In a victorious, bored march, Order takes the two knights out from the dimension, and back into the town of Frau. They’re not greeted by the gentle cloudy sky of one P.M., but the lunatic moonlight of the late evening.
All around them is an orchestra of screams, cackles, and the occasional “trick or treat”. Mobs of minions are going door to door, asking for candy, and beating the shit out of anyone that dares open their door empty-handed. The sad thing here is that almost no one has candy lying about, because Halloween doesn’t exist in their dimension. House by house is looted of their goods, all under the minion songs of All Hell’s-Ow! Eve.
“…Well, this looks rather fun,” Love observes with a smile.
“Wh-how did time pass so fast?” Justice demands in outward shock.
Order just shakes her head. Of course Dimensionomancy Infrastructure Minion would make time pass more quickly in the dimension. “Chaos actually held an entire holiday… in my town,” she says matter-of-factly.
“That’s kind of an honor if you think about it,” Love says with a sweet smile, taking a witch hat from Costumer Minion and placing it atop her pillow of hair. No sooner does the witch hat touch Love’s head then Order slam Costumer Minion down with her foot, reducing the minion to a pile of black-white gore.
“W-” Justice spits, “Absolutely not, Knight Love! Who knows what other evil The Overlord could be up to!” He makes a few very-magical, infamous gestures with his right arm, signifying magic from the exceptionally-violent school of Shadow Weight Magic.
“Hold up, Justice,” Order interjects next to a meekly grinning Love, “it doesn’t seem like it’s so bad that we’d need to resort to that kind of magic. Let’s just go through the town and clean them up like usual. I don’t even fe-” She stops. Order had spoken too soon, for in the instant she now feels that infamous, mythical pressure. “Get ready. He’s here.”
Justice readies an exceptionally nasty offensive spell as Love curtly adjusts her witch hat as if that would prepare her for combat.
“Ready, chief,” Justice affirms with a gaunt, deadly tone— the other side to his coin. Perhaps there is an advantage to him having such a black and white way of looking at things; Order bets he’s never even blinked when he’s had to kill someone— and to her, that is perhaps the greatest blessing of all. It’s easy to be remorseless if you’re certain you’re always doing the right thing, after all.
“O-oh my. Let’s bewitch some unsuspecting townspeople instead.” Love says with an uneasy smile.
“He’s definitely here,” Order says, her golden gaze peering deep into the writhing shadows of this moonlit night. There’s an impetuous silence from them as the sounds of trick-or-treaters and Halloween music fills the air— strange, eccentric instruments skilled at distracting the ear.
“He’s at my house,” Order educates with a stern, wide-eyed gaze before starting forward. The three take it slow; after all, when it comes to fighting The High Overlord and Slayer of Billions, it pays dividends to assume caution.
They reach her block, and the group says nothing at all— despite the immense shock awaiting them. Order’s home has disappeared.
The winds of the fall evening blow past them with mocking excitement.
“Ch-” Justice clears his throat. “Chief, this looks a whole lot like where your ho-”
“Because it is my house, Justice.”
“Well, was your house, Ran’,” Love corrects with a smirk and tone that isn’t quite appropriate.
“Wh-” Justice drops to his knees. “How?!” “Did you make any stops before-”
“No,” Order says plainly as Love kneels down to inspect the dirt around where the house should be. “I came straight to you… I don’t see how this could be, but I’m sure he figured out so-”
“Teleportation,” Love says, brushing the dirt from her fingers.
“How is that possible?! You can’t teleport a whole house!” Justice exclaims, now way more occupied by the missing house than the throat-tight feeling of Chaos’ presence nearby.
“Ahh, but Chaos can I’d wager,” Love chimes with a curt wag of the finger.
Another gust passes them by with Order standing dumbly in the sidewalk. “They stole my fucking house,” Order says with a blunt, cold tone.
“Now now, Ran, langua-”
“Shut up, Meeo. Fuck’s sake. I’m so fucking done with this. Who knows what they did with it, who knows where it is n-”
And like clockwork, an enormous, house-sided rift opens up twenty meters over the housing plot. Her entire manor slams down into the dirt— shattering all the windows, splintering boards, and putting critical strain on the pillars. At least it doesn’t collapse from the damage.
The three knights are once more left standing in dumbfounded silence.
“Thanks for letting us use it; our holiday demonstration was a huge hit with his Superior Dimensiographinizerness,” Dimensionomancy Infrastructure Minion says from what seems to be everywhere.
Order nods. “………No problem,” she says with a calm tone, just staring at her wrecked home.
“See ya, and happy All Hell-ow’s Eve,” the minion adds with a chipper tone.
“Goodbye,” Order responds brusquely.
“Yeah, have a-”
“Goodbye,” Order reiterates more curtly.
Dimensionomancy Infrastructure Minion clears his throat from the nether. “Eh… I guess th-”
“Goodbye,” Order says firmly once more.
There’s a sigh, and then Dimensionomancy Infrastructure Minion’s presence dissipates. They all feel the signature of the minions steadily weaken, each hopping away in one portal after another to escape; the mission has been completed, and The Knightess Paragon has been humbled once again by the tactical genius of His Interminable Overlordship. Even the KOed Minions are being whisked off, no doubt by any one of the Minion Rescue squads prepared for these such occasions, when Order is about kicking minions in their poor faces.
Another bitter silence passes, and Love clears her throat. “W-well Ran, dearie, it’s not all that bad. A little bit of reversal magic could probab-”
“I bet they didn’t even check for Parvo,” she interjects. “I bet he’s-…” she takes a deep breath. “I’m going to go check.” Order starts forward with a slow, waiting stroll. She knows Chaos is somewhere around her, but right now she wouldn’t mind dying all that much.
“W- I’m coming with you, Chief!” Justice exclaims, assuming Love is following along as he helpfully opens the door to the house and lets The Lord Knight General inside.
Love joins her hands together sweetly, appreciating that blustery wind, and the scarce orange hues of a finishing sunset.
“This has been a very nice holiday,” she says to herself.
“I could not agree more,” Chaos says with his usual, award-winning grin.
Love closes her eyes with a long smile, and turns to look behind her. Overlord Chaos is dressed up as the late King Rayda, his golden armor and ornate cape shockingly accurate to the real pieces. It wouldn’t surprise her too much if that were actually Rayda’s armor he’s wearing, all things considered.
“Why, good evening there, you naughty overlord.”
Chaos draws back. “And I suppose you are a witch? You are the naughty one.”
“A costume does not the person make, you know,” she says with a decisive wag of the finger. “Why have you come?”
He grins victoriously as he gains an official air. “I have traversed the realms to pay insult to that most-misguided of ignorant fools, The Knight we know as Mortar!”
“Ahh, I believe you mean Order.”
Chaos blinks vacantly a moment. “Why, no, I believe I am quite right in that name…” He pulls from his dimensional jaws a small notebook. “Let’s see… Oh, how silly of me.” He closes the book and replaces it into his throat. “Order it is.”
“There you have it,” Love adds with a smile. “I liked the haunted house. Did you really decorate and teleport it all before Ranalie walked those few blocks?”
He grins. “It was a most exciting challenge. Many of my minions pitched in. Why, even Coffee Minion, who is usually in minion prison, found a purpose— feeding coffee to a-”
“That was me, actually.”
He stares blankly again. “O-… Are you quite sure?”
She nods, the clouds wrapping around the glorious full moon above. “I had a great time. You should do it again!”
His grin gains a cruel aspect. “I have decided on it. Every year, I shall take away her home, and then run my horrific hauntings through it! She couldn’t possibly survive the decade!”
“I think she didn’t much appreciate it.”
He joins his hands together. “Good.”
“She doesn’t have much other than that house and that dog, you know. You really shouldn’t play with her like that.”
“And why not?”
“Because…” Love sighs with a faint smile. She knows this is a losing battle. “By the way, where is her dog?”
He raises a finger in the air thoughtfully. “Ahh, yes. Thank you for reminding me!” The Dark Emperor says before reaching a hand into his jaws and scooping out a wide-eyed, trembling Parvo— who has seen things within The Overlord’s recesses that cannot be relayed to any soul. Chaos hands the emotionally-terminated dog over to Love, who quickly cradles the tiny animal and begins massaging the back of his ears.
“Thank you,” she says, holding gently as Parvo quickly shuts down from relief.
The Great Opponent nods with the pleasantness of a crane. “Of course, young lady. I hope you will take better care of it than that evil witch does.”
Love smiles. “Parvo will be safe with me.”
Chaos nods again, this time looking a bit perplexed. “But I could have sworn I had something planned with the dog… Oh, yes.”
From inside the house, the muffled exclamation of Justice can be heard:
“Chief! I found Parvo!”
This is followed by an explosion, clearing out whatever was left of the windows.
“What happened?!” Order shouts from inside.
“IT…” Justice takes a deep, mortified breath. “Your dog exploded, Chief!”
Love and Chaos share a gentle chuckle before he glances over to explain. “Plastic Explosives Minion was very adamant as to his part in the plan.”
“Plastic explosives sound very creative.”
“Creative enough to make a bomb shaped like a dog, at least.”
There’s another laugh between the two, and The Overlord sighs with complete satisfaction. “I should be off. Do let her know that she has been bested by none other than The High Overlord, please.”
She smirks. “I’ll make sure she knows, but I’m pretty sure there’s no doubt to that.”
He nods proudly. “Very good. Have a wondrous Christmas Eve, young lady. I hope Rondi gives you many eggs this year.”
“Eh… pardon me?”
Chaos pulls out his notebook one more time. “Ah, Halloween. Pardon me, rather.”
She nods with a permissive, playful smile. “You are most pardoned.”
At that, he tears another portal through the fabric of reality, and steps through— leaving a pleased Love and a shocked-unconscious Parvo.
“Happy Halloween, Chaos,” she says before going up with Parvo to meet the soot-covered Order and Justice.
Happy All Hell-ows! Eve to you and your kin.
(I very much hope you enjoyed the story. Please be sure to comment with your thoughts and sign up for updates.)