It always feels like months between these emails, but I think it’s just because of all that happens from one 15th to the next.
Here’s some fine jazz for your listening enjoyment. Please enjoy:
And now, the things of the month.
Don’t give me that look, Hail minion! I pay you by the hour – you don’t get to complain about what you do.
-MV Update: Almost Done!
Mystic Vengeance, or “Mort and Effie get Down and Dirty back in the Homewood” is very close to completion.
I have to admit, this one has turned out well, but probably for reasons that folks will only figure out in a few years. I feel like this one’s been pushed in with a lot of important “Big Audacious Plot” stuff that folks will really admire later on during their second read of it, but I’m concerned people may feel like there’s just a little bit of sidetracking – We’ll see.
That aside, I keep pushing the “socially acceptable” envelope just a little more with each book in this series.
I go: “Kell, you’ve built up a character to do this thing, or to say this thing, and that’s horrible. They would, in a natural setting without my meddling do and say those things, but you shouldn’t let them do or say the thi-“
Then I just call my inner critic a dumb nerd and pour coffee down his trousers. Once I accidentally poured coffee down my own trousers, which was really a sight at work because the boss was talking to me and I just randomly opened my fly and poured a piping-hot cup of joe on my extra-analytical parts, but that’s neither here nor there.
Anyway. I always say this every book, but be ready for a little spice: not even the “wow that girl’s guts are everywhere” type spice or the “Did that dude just kill himself?” type spice as per my usual, but more like the “Wow, Kell, that’s socially revolting and something along the lines that ‘effed up ess’ writer would put in his books.”
Well, I suppose that’s the risk you run keeping books character driving and true to the story. Offensive stuff happens. If you get messed up with this one, you have my truest condolences, but I cannot in good faith make a character not horrible just because it’s offensive. That said,I expect most of you will be fine, especially if you got through the end of Gravetower okay, because you know those Minions didn’t deserve that.
Oh, and remember, you only have like a month left to preorder before the price goes from the preorder $0.99 USD to $3.99, so get on it before it’s too late! You won’t want to miss out – it’s got a sick giant centipede fight.
The “Draw Kell Super Badly” competition!
The competition for April is over. Please give a hoot and holler over to the outstandingly-skilled Amber for this masterpiece:
For this artist’s loyalty to the cause of outstandingly-handsome analysts, their art will be displayed as kellinkston.com’s logo for the month, they will receive a signed copy of Woodcastle and also enjoy a bevy of really cool secret things that only people who receive mail from analysts would know about.
Don’t stalk me using the return address, you’ll just show up at a military base and they’ll arrest you – gottem!
I’m going to keep thinking about what sort of competition I want to do for June. I’m thinking a short-fiction contest revolving around minions. Pick a minion, write a 1,000-2,000 word short on it, and you could win some big prizes, like the biggest bundle I’ve ever sent someone! Look forward to it!
-The Shop… Whoa!
Behold! We’re in business! https://inkblots.sellfy.store/ is now our brave land for buying real-life good based on totally fictional universes (I’m legally required to say it’s fiction, but you and I both know better).
At Ink Blots, you’ll find mugs, shirts, accessories and more, along with some can’t get it anywhere else fiction by yours truly!
Want to read my embarrassing short story collection with horrifying lake monsters and a dude punching dragons?
Want your very-own Delivery Minion mug?
Want to wear a scandalously-cool Overlord Chaos on your body? (Coming soon)
Then run, and I mean run to Ink Blots! No, really. It’s COMING TO GET YOU RUUUUU-
Newsletter subscribers can expect a coupon to come in their inbox in the coming months to give them a permanent discount any time they use it. Is it economically feasible? No, not really. Is it a cool way to show you guys how much I love you? I sure hope so.
That said, if you want to go ahead and take a look at our steadily-growing collection of find artifacts, then simply make travel over to https://inkblots.sellfy.store/ and see it all for yourself!
Projected Release Timeline – May 2021:
–Mystic Vengeance: Soot Knight #2 – June 20th
Certain Vengeance: Soot Knight #3 – November 20th
Project RealDepth – 2022 – More to Follow
Blades of the Moon: Azure Vigil #1 – 2022
That’s all we have for this month.
Looks like the stupid disease has been waning in most parts of the world, which is a good thing. Even so, stay vigilant, consult your local plague doctor, and always burn the corpses. I’ll see you all at a coffee shop real soon.
All the best,