Cauterized to the bone and word of it all, a forlorn analyst forces through regular bouts of mania and an unwitting public to create the barest elements of his greatest work – The 2021 September Update

To key us in, it’s time for some characteristically-smooth Soichi Terada:

Mr. Terada hasn’t released much since the pandemic, but it’s nice to have some of his older stuff to return to as the internet so aptly enables us to. It’s sort of humorous that he’s best known for doing the sound track for the Ape Escape games, despite everything else he’s done, but there you have it – when you have to boil a person down to a single drop of their legacy, people tend to simplify. Also, Ape Escape is really fun – noted.

But again, this isn’t a music blog. Let’s talk about me, me, ME!!

The First Missed Deadline – a Retrospect

So, full disclosure I may not be in the best place to talk about this mentally, but I’m going to hit at least one deadline on time this month, by Jupiter!

In the middle of November, Certain Vengeance is slated to release.

…Well, it was slated to release…

Today I’m going to tell you why that will not be happening.

I do not share details about my actual life all that often.

I thought it would be cool to have the author also be a primary character in the books, so I cooked up Kell Inkston.

It makes things convenient, because I can also go relatively unknown. No matter how famous “Kell” becomes, this Kell can still go grocery shopping and not get stopped every five steps.

That said, this Kell has a job, and there are times it asks you to give it almost everything.

For several extended periods across the writing process, one as long as three weeks, I’ve been under a sort of “stress paralysis” when it came to writing. I don’t mean waking up, working, having a nice day, and returning with tea in-hand to knock out a few thousand words. I mean racing from the moment I’m up and falling into a heap of blankets (or the bare floor, which in fact happened several times recently) at the end of it all. I’ve been working hard and fast, I’ve gotten sick, and I’ve had a flood of new responsibilities to juggle in the process of it all.

I started writing Certain Vengeance, Soot Knight’s final book, several months ago, and yet I have less than a quarter of the book’s draft.

Yeah, that’s like, really slow for me.

Some years back I could vomit words out at a speed of a thousand an hour, and it felt good. Looking back still there was no sacrifice to the quality of story, simply the expected higher rate of typos and weirdly-structured sentences. This is the kind of thing that isn’t a big deal in writing, because you can always step back and improve it. The important things is that the story and characters are excellent, because that’s why people read novels in the first place – if you only want pretty-sounding sentences you can go to poetry for that.

That said, my current pace is a far cry from my speed some years ago. I’ve become slower not simply because of additional work stressors, but a general lack of focus toward the projects in general. I’ve started about three different short stories this past month, and I simply cannot bring myself to finishing them like I’m supposed to. I continually switch concentration between tasks, leading to periods where I’m mentally spent yet have completed next to no work – it’s a rough equation, for sure.

Like any human failing, it’s something I thought I had a handle on, until it rears its head up once more in surprise. In light of these things sneaking up on me, I cannot see any way to reasonably finish, edit, and format Certain Vengeance in time for its originally-planned November release date. For that, I’d like to formally apologize.

The craft of writing is the craft of thinking, and it does not do well to have an author that cannot control their thoughts – I’m sorry.

I’ll cap this with the promise that you will get book 3, and it will be outstandingly good. You will not be getting it sometime Q1 or Q2 2022, but you will have it.

As far as the only other planned release goes, Voidthrone is still looking good for a January release. How weird it is (not really) that my super slow-releasing Courts Divided will find its way out with book four before Soot Knights’ book 3. Oh well; fight onward, fight inward.

I’m sorry, I’m not in a very “wordy” mood at the moment. I feel like I’m tired or something. Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out for next month, promise.

How weird all of this is, I’ve never missed a deadline like this before. It’s quite a kick in the teeth, but you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs… or something like that; not really sure where I was going with that one. Please have a great day. I’ll see you next month with a new update and at least one short story that I think you’ll love.

Until next time,

Kell

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