Delivery Minion

Age: Unknown

Height: .82 meters

Weight: Entirely dependent on weekly taco intake

Original series: Your email inbox

Primary Magics and Abilities: Owns a pretty nice scooter and a positive outlook on life, perhaps two of the greatest powers that can be in the hands of those who know how to use them.

Personality and Life: An unassuming Scottish fold from the Mc’Aisling Clan’s royal cattery, Stumbles was named so at birth by Kaelley Mc’Aisling upon finding the eighth kitten out from Grunzella was, in fact, missing an entire leg.

This impairment endeared little Stumbles to the family, and while he was the humored mockery of the maids and butlers, Kaelley spent long highland days teaching the cat how to deliver messages to people for treats.

Of course, few took her up on the offer of offering treats to a cat to reinforce desired behavior up until her father, the local lord, gave it a try one holiday morning when he was lack for work. Stumbles delivered a holiday card by the lord to his quartermaster.

The quartermaster, and intense sort, was entirely unaware of the context of the letter nor the identity of the sender. As such he assumed the letter to be a prank, and threw the cat out with his full strength.

For his siblings, a speedy lateral fall like this would be a challenge they could easily meet, but not Stumbles. He was injured from the toss onto the cobblestone, and it took him nearly three hours to limp his way back to the keep.

He arrived to a chaotic scene – yes: Chaos himself was there.

This being during his particularly active “Tea Collecting” days, The High Overlord had deigned to threaten all the places across the Omniverse known for having outstanding tea, so that he might form the greatest repertoire of rare and excellent tea that history has ever known.

In a particularly rare outcome when it comes to encounters with him, the Mc’Aisling clan accepted his (admittedly mild) terms for surrendering a month’s worth of their finest teas in exchange for their lives. The Mc’Aislings hail from Dimension #4,392,400, where magic was a practically alien concept outside of divine intervention at this time, so the mere sight of a mysterious, light-absorbingly black figure towering over them demanding tea… it seemed like a simple enough question to just give him what he wanted.

Then he saw Stumbles, and it got a little rough.

Beset with compassion, he breathed fire on every building for a block, and instead raided all of the tea they had, the clan’s royal throne, a few tapestries he liked, as well as Stumbles.

The little cat was certain he would never see Kaelley again, but once Chaos bestowed his ether upon him, he put it all behind him.

As a minion that could run magnitudes faster than his original body could, he took it upon himself to honor the legacy of his craft and become a true deliveryman. His intense drive smashed his minion-career upward, from the humble mailroom and processing stations where most mail minions deal with Chaos’ overwhelming floods of hate and love mail, all the way up to deliveryminion, a job he does so well and with so much respect for his parcels that Naming Minion agreed to have his designation officially and indelibly set as the Delivery Minion.

Very few among the Minionry enjoy a permanent name that cannot be immediately changed on a bureaucratic whim, and this is an honor he does not take lightly. Delivery Minion delivers all sorts of mail at tireless paces, physical and digital, over ocean, sky and war zones. His trusty Vespa scooter has taken him places few people would believe, and he does it all for his Overlord and in the hopes of getting that next letter to someone else’s Kaelley Mc’Aisling.

Hobbies and Interests:

-Making timely deliveries for people who need mail the most

-Tacos and other most food from the Laya base culture

-Lo-fi and Ska music

Notable Relationships:

-Loves the folks he meets on his mail route

-Loves his tacos

-Loves his scooter

-Loves his overlord

-Simple as that.