And a happy leaf fallin’, pie eatin’, “corridor month between two super-celebrated US holidays” type of time to you!
Hope the Christmas music on the radio hasn’t gotten to you yet. It’s sort of uniquely humorous how the “Big Two” holiday block here in the US extends more and more each year.
I saw Halloween stuff put up in August. This stuff is getting out of control – I’m going to write a book about it, I swear! THEN they’ll be sorry! Don’t get me wrong, I love holidays, but it’s like half the year almost!
Anyway, let’s stretch out with some comfy music from an underappreciated videogame – its main gimmick hidden behind at least a dozen hours of gameplay, so most people never even noticed it:
Personally I thought “TUNIC” was going to be a boring, uninspired Zelda-clone, so I put it off for some years before the inclination and curiosity hit me.
What a gem! Potentially one of the best games of its kind. It does something that I’ve never seen an action RPG do. Heck, it does something I haven’t seen any game do before, and that alone makes it very special.
That said, the music is also stellar – it really hits the nostalgic vibe that I think the game was aiming for.
But enough about silly cute fox “ignorance-as-slavery-to-cosmic-destiny” metaphor game, let’s talk about OUR new cool stuff.
Hark Minion! Hail Minion! It’s been such a long time!
This month’s release is the short story The Canyon Speaks starring Knight Law before he got his title. It’s not exactly his “origin story” per se, but it does tell you quite a lot about what happened to him to get his “complete” draconic name – I’ll give you a hint, it has to do with wrestling clan chieftains, and not cheating with magic.
If you’re interested in seeing him gush about his purpose like some silly adolescent, click here and let’s get you set up with some proper dragon-knight action!
With a cover by the talented and very very cool NozK3ll!:
Speaking of cool art:
Featured Art of the Month: a few, actually!
Shiro, Franibearr, and Aenen all sent me art this month – and they all look wonderful, so I really couldn’t choose this time around!
Some days you want to draw the Lord Knight Captain herself, and other days you want to draw Delivery Minion munchin’ on a taco while finding his way through some totally unknown space.
I know, I know, very super impressive, but here’s something even wilder that I drew in less than a minute:
Like him? Yeah, that’s Hello-Ween Minion. Essentially he’s this little guy that sincerely misheard how Halloween was pronounced and is certain that the right way to do trick-or-treating is to just say “Hello!” really enthusiastically and then run off. I apologize for stealing their thunder, but it’s simply clear who’s cut out for this line of work.
I pride myself in my art, both written and visual, :^) but I think I’ll hold onto character design as my main role for some time – People don’t pay me to draw (yet!)
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Totally review bombed?!
In a little bit of funny stuff this month – someone obliterated Ketairne’s amazon star rating:
Essentially a friend was checking out my store page and noticed an unwholesome amount of new 1 star ratings on the sci-fi hunting short story. I’m somewhere in the 80+ range, like a truly insane amount.
Who is the perpetrator? I don’t much care – you cannot stop good short stories about robots getting blown to smithereens by alien predator masterminds, you can only delay them.
Anyway, I contacted Amazon and they did me the dear service of removing… some of the botted 1 stars. We still have a ways to go, but the 1 stars are indeed starting to disappear bit by bit.
I like to think of it in terms of this awesome meme made by resident memester Aenen:
But seriously it probably went something like this:
“Nooooo not KELL INKSTON: the SLOW BROKE FANTASY SCI-FI AUTHOR THAT SELLS ONE BOOK A MONTH!! I’M GOING TO HAVE TO TEACH THAT FOOL A LESSON! I’M GONNA TAKE HIM DOWN A NOTCH!”
Well, random person on the internet that used dozens of fake amazon accounts to bomb one of my free short story listings. I have only one thing to say:
: : ]
Get it? It’s like my four eyed face but with a smug little smile. Haha, live that one down, neeeerd!
Anyway in light of this I’ll now be adjusting the plot of Ketairne and reuploading it to fit it’s new, horrible rating:
Ketairne will now:
-Swap between present and past tense in every sentence
-Will mix character names in the middle of dialogue
-Will have a new strong intersectional LGBTQIA+ female lead replacing the original well-liked protagonist – she’ll also be nondescriptly brown for extra Netflix appeal.
-Will end halfway through with no resolution
-Will have 8 new Chekov’s guns, all of which will be unresolved
-The genre is now reverse harem lit RPG
And last but definitely not least:
-Dialogue punctuation will be tripled and randomized “Do you really think that’s a good idea.!,”
ALSO while I’m on my high horse on this one:
What the heck is up with this, Amazon?
“Ohhh they’re high tech and have cool gunz!! xD“
Come on, guys. Fat burly spayc muhreens are like way different from my slick, slim, efficient riflemen. Armor’s not going to solve all your problems in the future, don’t toss me in with that lot.
We’re out here making art in The Holy Verses, and the first, best way to do it is to deliver what readers expect when they download a 2 star book off Amazon!
Haha, only kidding…
Nocturna League Season 3 – Happening right NOW
Yes, beloved reader, it’s REAL!
After nearly four years, Nocturna League’s third season is being written day by day, and progress is already coming along smoothly.
Beta Reader applications for the first episode in the season are open for anyone interested, but I only have 2 spots remaining, so if you really want it then please let me know right away by emailing me at kell@kellinkston.com. Bring your reading classes and extra towels, please!
A Question on Storefronts:
I must know for the future, do you personally shop only on amazon for your ebooks, or do you use another storefront? Would you be cool with buying the very next Kell Inkston ebook directly via a payment platform? I bet I could make it a win-win, especially at the beginning as I wouldn’t have to pay Amazon for their dumb fees every time someone wants to read one of the books.
Think about it and get back to me, please – I feel like this conversation could really effect where we go from here.
Conclusion:
Uh, I really am happy you’re my reader, and it makes me feel special every time you open emails, check out my new stuff, and send me helpful feedback over email or through reviews. It really has been a little while since we’ve talked, hasn’t it?
I pray you shall find only grand and growth-heavy adventures in the coming month. I hope you and those you hold dear stay in good health, or move that direction as is necessary to maintain appropriate cosmic balance.
All the best to you and your kind,
Kell Inkston (Your [hopefully] best internet friend that tries really hard to write cool stories every day)
Coffee... WRITING!... COFFEE!! 